I (26F) grew up in a really abusive household with my mother and step father. Both of whom inflicted physical, mental, verbal, and psychological abuse on me and my siblings from the ages of 2-15 yrs. I was finally able to get away from my parents when I was 15 when the courts would actually take me seriously at that age. My sister and I had tried several times over the course of our lives to get out of our horrific living situation when we would spend time with our paternal grandmother. She did the best she could to help us but even back then our state didn’t support grandparents’ rights. I didn’t talk to my parents for years after I got away from them. I check in on them occasionally via text message or phone call but I keep a safe boundary. I’ve had a reoccurring dream for several years now that started shortly after my daughter was born when I was 18. The setting and details are never the exact same but it’s always the same scenario; I’m an adult in my dream with an established life (exactly like my life is now. Family, good income, a vehicle, free will to live my life how I please) and I am seemingly visiting my parents. The interaction starts off normal but then they’ll do something that they used to do from my childhood like yell or try to tell me what to do. And I, a grown woman, stand up for myself and tell them they can’t control me anymore. I have my own means of life now they can’t take it away or hold me against my will. I’ll even ave my car keys at them and start walking away to leave, and even though I’m getting away from them in the dream… I still have this overwhelming sense of helplessness. Like I have no control over my own life and I’m always screaming at them by then end of the dream that I’m free, but it sounds and feels more like I’m trying to convince myself than it does them. I know I’m free now, but my mind is trying to tell me something because it’s always the same dynamic and same feeling of hopelessness that I felt as a child.
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